One of the objectives for writing this blog was to impart important lessons I wanted you to know about parenting. Ironically, some of the greatest lessons I have learned as a mother have come from all of you. There have been numerous lessons for me -born in the kitchen. Many are quite humorous.
Let’s just establish that I was not a certified chef when I married dad. I think dad knew he was in trouble when I took the casing off the bratwurst for my first bar-b-cue endeavor. Needless to say, I learned rather quickly that bratwurst and sausage keep their shape much better with the casing. Most of our newlywed dinner that night ended up in the coals of the Weber grill. Though my cooking skills have greatly increased, it is an area where I am constantly learning...and I am not always referring to the cuisine. Sometimes the episodes in the kitchen give me great encouragement as a mother, even if the entree is a disaster. I often see fruits of motherhood in the mess...and I admit that sometimes, I’m the one who’s a mess.
One episode that stands out in my mind was at the end of pregnancy with John Paul. I had made it to the ninth month with the ninth child and was physically exhausted. My hormones couldn’t have been more unstable either. In between running everyone to their after school activities, I was trying to squeeze in fixing dinner. Though I can’t remember the whole meal I was preparing, I do remember the Rice-r-Roni. Everything was ready to go, except the rice, and I had to leave to take someone to practice of some kind. I would be gone 20 minutes...the exact time it takes to get the “gourmet” side dish to the table. Mitchell, who was 13, was in charge. I gave him the task of making the rice-r-roni for me. As I left, I was confident things were under control. Reading directions from a box was clearly something he was capable of and I was thrilled things were going to be ready to put on the table when I came home. I was pregnant and hungry after all.
When I came home, Mitch was busy shooting baskets in the driveway. An ominous sign that perhaps he forgot the task I set for him. As I walked in the door, I was greeted with a familiar, yet foul, burning smell that put my senses in panic mode. As I whipped open the microwave, I could clearly see something went drastically wrong. My only side dish wasn’t supposed to be “toast”. The rice was burnt to a crisp and it was still sizzling with the few drops of moisture left in the bowl. Aside from the hormones and hunger, I’m not sure why I was sent over the edge. If you didn’t know about the burnt bowl of rice, you would have thought Mitch had committed a felony. I really went hysterical over my rice-r-roni. As I bombasted him about the importance of reading directions...he was looking at me with a puzzled and very apologetic face. Nonetheless, I kept going. My hormones were on overdrive. Finally, when I quit long enough for him to speak, he said very quietly “I’m sorry mom, I’ll go to my room.” With that, I burst into tears. How could I make Mitch feel so terrible over something so silly? He actually grounded himself? As Mitchell watched my tears start to roll, I’m sure he thought I was crying because rice was no longer on the menu.
Luckily, Dad came into the kitchen to see what was going on. Knowing the hormone malfunction for what it was, he reached out and gave me a hug. I crumpled into tears, knowing I had made my son feel terrible about something so small. I was thrown into a meltdown over 3 boxes of rice-r-roni, totaling $3.50- tax included. Mitch was extremely at a loss, knowing he was only trying to help- yet he was going to ground himself for not tripling the water content. As I thought about the ridiculous scene, I was struck with both tears and hysterical laughter. As Mitchell watched me, I could see a look of confusion and sadness. Maybe he thought his usually calm mother might be ready for the white coats to take her away! When I finally composed myself, I tried to apologized for making him feel so terrible. But every time I tried to speak, I was tripped up by my tears. My true sorrow for blowing things out of proportion did not escape him. Though I was the one who needed the lecture for my behavior, he came over and tried to comfort me. Even though he was dazed by my outburst, he was forgiving of me. Because I was a basket-case and incapable of words, dad filled him in on how powerful hormones affect a pregnant woman. His tenderness and willingness to forgive -gave me so much joy...again, more tears. My attempts at teaching forgiveness were working. His compassion did not go unnoticed.
To this day, I still feel joy and tenderness for Mitchell over my embarrassing error. It is vital to keep your sense of humor when raising kids. Though forgiveness should be first on the list of things to give and teach your children, a healthy sense of humor is a close second. It is a life jacket for the family. Laughing keeps the spirit afloat. With a little light-hearted self-deprecation, everyone in the family now knows to stand back if I am feeling a bit edgy or hormonal. No one wants to see mom go “Rice-r-roni!”
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