As we all know from experience, the best teachers lead by example. As a parent, I am learning each and every day. This means I also make mistakes. At your baptisms, when dad and I promised God that we would bring you up in the ways of Christ, we did not promise that we wouldn’t make mistakes. I could never make such a promise. God knows us too well to ask for such a feat. In order to keep my sacred promise, I have to show you how to love by forgiving one another. This means I also have to be willing to apologize when I stumble as well. As a parent, if I lash out in anger and frustration, I need to address it. If I yell because order is not being respected, I need to make it clear what is going on. Raising my voice in love is different than raising my voice in hostile, out of control, anger. The more frequent the screaming, the more you know I don’t know what the heck I am doing. You know when I am out of control. (I am positive you all understand the difference.) In a family of constant screaming and yelling, not much constructive learning is done. Children are either learning how to scream...and scream loud so they can be heard, or they learn how to steer clear of the screamer! I can not expect you to give something I am not willing give. I can not expect you to know what I’m doing if I don’t understand it myself. Know your mission and role as a parent.
My mission is to raise adults, not children. There is nothing worse than seeing a child in a grown up body. It’s quite revolting, really. Unfortunately, there are too many adults in the workplace who act like children on the playground. The world needs adults. Sadly, it looks like they are getting fewer and far between. When you are an adult, you need to leave your selfish ways behind. You need to worry more about obligation, responsibility and duty than you do entertaining and “finding” yourself. If dad and I succeed in setting you firmly in good soil, you should bloom into a mature adult by the time you are 21. You will be ready to leave the world of “me” and “my” behind.
Dad and I understand fully that we have 18 years to teach you want we want you to know. We have to be deliberate and careful about our use of time. We will have given you every tool you need to succeed in your tool box. We will have shown you what success looks like and have been actively guiding you to acheive success in your own life. Success will not be the pursuit of money, power and stature. Success will be utilizing your gifts to their fullest potential. You will be growing and discovering the man or woman God called you to be. You will know you are obligated to do your best and you will desire to do your best on your own free will. You will not want it because I want it for you, but because you know it is the right thing to do. You will be able show love readily and give forgiveness easily. You will use your gifts and talents to provide for yourself and your family. You will know that you may have worked hard to develop your gifts but you will be conscious of where these gifts came and to whom they belong...God. If money, power and stature are attained through well ordered pursuits, then the responsibility for these gifts are even greater. They are to be used for the good of the whole. You will be generous to God, to all those you serve, and to those less fortunate. You will know how to love passionately and compassionately. Your heart will be full of the holy spirit. If you are loving with a desire to bring good out of any situation, you will have figured out how to dicern the will of God. You will know how to put others needs before your own and live a sacrificial life of love. You will not be afraid of life’s twists and turns. You will see life as an adventure...and you will conquer it will great excitement. When trouble comes, you will have no fear, because every tool you need is already in your tool box. You will have confidence in yourself and in almighty God when life takes you down a road you might not want to go. Your foundation will be set. Your family will be there to celebrate in all your acheivements and joys. They will also be there to encourage you when there are disappointments and sorrow.
Children are great imitators. They are watching and observing everything. This is why it is so important to know what your goals are as a parent...to know what your mission is. You need to know what virtues and character traits you want to see. Take time to think about how you are going to develop these traits. Most people rely on their own childhood as a guide...even if it very disfunctional. That is why knowing our mission here in the home is so important. Generations depend on what we are doing and teaching. Are we going to make life hard for them or life easier? Is faith going to be hard to understand or will it be an easy leap? Will we send out generations of people who are solid contributers to society and make the world better because they lived?...or will they be a burden and cause for pain and suffering to those lives they touch? Will the world know God because they have met your children? Take time to think about and know your mission. Great leaders have the confidence of knowlege and wisdom on their side.
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