Discerning Vocations-How "I knew" dad was the one.

Now that several of you have reached the age of 18, and several more you are skipping happily through puberty, the subject of vocation discernment seems timely.  Melanie's recent engagement and call to marriage was happily received by the whole family.  You have also witnessed Tony's discernment and call to the priesthood.  We eagerly await his ordination coming up in June.

In discerning your vocation, whether it be religious life, married life or living a single life- the first order of contemplation should be meditating upon what each of these states in life require from you...not  what you will receive from them.  If you are choosing a vocation to get away from something, you probably haven't discerned long and hard enough about where God wants you to be. You need to be running "toward" something...not away.  Your state in life should always be bringing you toward God and to a vocation where your gifts move you and others closer to Him.

Over the years, you have all heard the story about how dad and I met.  Yet many of you haven't heard how I "knew" he was the one.  After dating a while, I went with dad to visit his grandpa in the hospital.  I had only met his grandparents once or twice before.  I knew his grandpa had epilepsy and was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's.  He took a bad fall in the nursing home and broke his arm.  It was a terrible break and one that required surgery.

When we arrived,  his grandma was lovingly flitting about his bed.  She was fluffing his pillows and trying her best to make him comfortable.  She was checking on his meds and chatting with the nurses.  She stroked his hair when he moaned in pain.  She kept telling him how she loved him, reminding him that she was there.  It appeared that he was very agitated and confused.  Perhaps he didn't even know her name.  Her loving care did not groan, or grumble.  She just loved him with all her might and took care of him with every ounce she had.  She showered her love despite his inability to love her in the same way.  She was a visual picture of the gospel.  She was living out her marriage vows with incredible beauty.  Her love was the epitome of hope and charity.  This sight was very moving to me.

In between watching her spoon feeding grandpa and her gracious welcome to us, I "knew."   This was true love...being able to love and expect nothing in return.  Loving for "loves" sake and for the sake of God.  Grandma loves God with her heart and soul.  It was as if a light bulb went off and I knew what I could do and would do -for dad.  I held that kind of love for him.  I knew I loved God this much.  I was drawn to it and committed to it.  Even though there were numerous reasons why I love dad (too numerous to mention:), it was as if something clicked and I knew what "I" had to offer him.  Lord knows, I was broke...I only had myself and my love to offer.  I just had to wait for him to pop the question.  It was a life changing day.

Knowing yourself is very important.  It should be a project you are always working on.  Do you have what it takes to live the gospel?  Do you have what it takes to fulfill your commitment to God in the holy sacrament of marriage?  Hopefully you choose someone who understands love in this same manner.  Will you love God enough to love without getting anything in return-no matter what state in life you choose?  This is a tall order but one that reaps enormously when we are not seeking to receive...only when we focus on the giving.  This is what is required if you want to experience true love.  It is what is required if you are committed to God.  If you know yourself well, you will know where your gifts can bring that kind of love to the world.

I hope you all carefully discern your vocation and are scrupulous about knowing yourself.  I hope you will pluck out what holds you back from loving in this way.  I hope you encounter people who will inspire you to "know" where you are called to be. ( Thank you Grandma -"Nani GG"!)  The fruit of her love is 10 great grandchildren.  See what you can receive when your aim is to give?  I thank God she was able to show me this kind of love...you are here because of it!

Love,
MOM