Word for the Weekend is...Manners

The older I get, the more convinced I am that my work and devotion to being a mother demands all the attention and care I can muster.  Many women struggle with their value in being a stay at home mom and struggle with their worth and contribution to the world.  I am fortified with determination and purpose the older you all become.  There is nothing that underscores the importance of what I am doing, than meeting young people without the basic social skills many take for granted.

Parents weekend in Oxford, MS on September 7th, 2012 was case in point.  On our way to the grove, Sean, Maeve, Sheila, John Paul and I stopped by Mitchell's dorm to see his new room and to meet his roommate.  The weeks leading up to our visit, Mitchell had described his roommate as "quiet", but he was getting along well and staying busy.  I was anxious to meet this young man and to see who Mitchell was sharing his freshman experience with.

I wasn't quite prepared for what happened next.   We all streamed into the tiny dorm room where we saw a young man sitting at his computer, playing a video game of some sort, complete with monster headphones for the experience.  John Paul and Maeve, who are four years old and one year, bolted around the room, bouncing from one corner to the next.  In a matter of seconds, there were six human beings in a rather small dorm room getting the grand tour.  Never once did Mitchell's roommate look up from his computer screen, nor take his headphones off to extend his hand for an introduction.  He never uttered  a word.  The entire twenty minutes we were in the room, we were invisible to him.  He was not invisible to us, however.  I was dumbstruck that six people could suddenly come into his space, breath on him, run around him in such close proximity, and he could continue as if his world never changed.  

The absence of what I would call the most basic social skill, was astounding to me.  I am still thinking about it 3 weeks later.   An 18 year old does not wake up one day suddenly and unexpectedly unable to introduce themselves.  Even the most shy individual should have this skill.      

This awkward situation left me feeling uneasy. The entire 20 minute experience was odd at best and sad to realize his one chance at leaving a first impression was complete.  I left feeling perplexed and strange.  Had he looked me in the eye and shook my hand,  I know I would have left feeling much better.  While the entire campus was buzzing with excitement, getting ready for the big football game, he was cooped inside with a set of headphones and a computer.  It was a beautiful, sunny day.  It made me sad to think he was missing out on the friendships and camaraderie that should be part of campus life.   I wonder how he will fare when the time comes to get a job.    

You only get one chance to make a first impression.  Training you all for the day you will fly out into the world is a compilation of many small acts that culminate into one large body of work that enables you to function and carry yourself with confidence.  A good first impression is important and is meant to carry you beyond that first meeting.   Teaching proper manners may seem insignificant but it is important if you want your children to function socially. It is a blessing that helps create trust and friendships in their life.  

Never underestimate your manners, and never be afraid to introduce yourself. Always give a firm handshake when you meet someone for the first time.  It's amazing how much trust can be transferred in this simple exchange.

These episodes always affirm my vocation as a mother.  It validates the value in the simplest gestures that matter so much, and is worth the time it takes to shape young people to be ready for the world.  

Love,

MOM