Keeping your eye on the ball...a wedding story

Now that Melanies wedding is over, I have had a few days to digest all that transpired in the days leading up to and proceeding the major sacramental event of the year.  There were so many curveballs thrown at the England family, I decided the most appropriate title for this post had to be what I learned in my early years playing softball.  I never knew how much this phrase was going to mean, nor how handy it would come on a wedding day.

Interestingly, wedding day plans had been flowing quite smoothly.  Despite starting a new businesss just 12 days before the wedding,  I calmly thought I was managing my days and hours quite well.  The business kick off was a success, even with 10 inches of unexpected snow in late March.  One hurdle leaped.

The next 12 days would be "all wedding"  and "all hands on deck."  There was painting, carpet cleaning, alteration appointments, printing jobs and a myriad of other extras heaped upon daily chores, like laundry and making dinner.  I was impressed that we were flying through our days with lists accomplished and everyone being fed.  The older girls were instrumental in making it all happen on the homefront and I was feeling grateful to have extra hands and feet.  We were progressing toward the wedding day in anxious anticipation, like world series champs.

That was until the planes started flying in.  Though all planes landed safely, the out of town guests, including college children arriving home,  signaled "game-time" at the England abode.  The house quickly became a hive of buzzing activity and all incomplete last minute details were shoved into the recesses of my mind and incomplete lists were shoved into the unseen cavities of any available junk drawer.

We had a casual Wednesday night dinner with Jeff's family and all enjoyed sharing our time before the official festivities began.  We feasted a delicious dinner and shared wonderful company as the night went joyfully smooth, despite the last minute plan.  One thing the England clan can do well, is fly by the seat of our pants.  And we were flying into our final hours before "show time."

Rehearsal dinner morning, I popped out of bed very early to the sound of the front door blasting open.  Mitchell had gone out to his car to retrieve the bag he brought home from college with all of his clothes.  In his excitement to see his siblings, he left his luggage and all belongings in the car overnight. I heard him ask Sean, his older brother, if he had thrown all of his things around in the trunk looking for something.  With Sean half awake, he replied pleasantly, "I have no idea what you are talking about!"  That is when we realized all unlocked vehicles, which were many, had been broken into late that night.

We immediately ran out to our cars and found the entire contents from consoles strewn around the front seats.  It was an eery feeling to know that someone had been lurking around the house with all of us in it.  I was sure the house had been lit up like a firecracker all night since no one, including me,  is very good at turning out the lights when people start crashing out.  The thief or thieves helped themselves to whatever goods they wanted and grabbed some very odd and unusual things.  Mitchell had his bag stolen, but many of the contents were dumped back into the trunk.  We discovered the thief had stolen his underwear, running shorts, his only pair of tennis shoes and his ipod.  My car was unusually clean, except for religious items that weren't of interest to the bandits.  All of the envelopes and letters in my console were ripped to shreds as they thought they might find some money. No luck there.  Riley's car had been pillaged as well.  Though nothing was taken in the car, I quickly noticed that Steve's rollerblades were gone.  They had been perfectly placed in a line of rollerblades that decorate the patio when not in use.

We started the day with a visit from the Town and Country police.  Notes were taken, pictures recorded and all procedural protocol was administered before 9:00 am.  Riley took off with her list of errands and I had given her my debit card to complete the purchases.  I stayed back and finished what needed to be done at home.  Around noon, Riley arrived in tears.  She had spent the last few hours running like a mad woman, only to get to the checkouts with a debit card that was declined again and again.  She had gotten zero accomplished except discovering a mysteriously frozen debit card.

I called the bank and it seemed as though someone in Arizona was having a party with my bank account.  The bank's fraud team luckily caught the problem just in the nick of time, spoiling Riley's productive run to purchase important last minute items.  The "Schnucks IT breach" had struck the England debit cards twice in one week.  We were down to one debit card in crunch time.  No problem, at least I still had a checkbook.

We continued on without missing a beat.  We were shaken but had our eye on the ball.  We were all focused on the culmination of a year of planning.  Even the program printing mishap, the week before and the drawing of my dear St. Joseph with six fingers had been reprinted and ready to be placed at the tables.  We were on our game.

The rehearsal dinner was a beautiful celebration in a cozy room and the italian food and loving company was superb.  Many beautiful heartfelt toasts were made and love was in the air.  I marveled at the wonderful friends my daughter and son-in-law had made on their journey.  They were an impressive group of young people  and I recall thinking that I couldn't have handpicked a better group myself.  Both families and friends had a wonderful time and we were feeling gratitude for the love that brought us all together.  At the end of a beautiful evening, we went home to prepare for the big day.  It was game time.

When everyone woke up things were unusually calm.  Girls were in the shower getting ready for
the day at the salon.  I was going over the last minute details in my office when my phone rang at 8:00 am.  It was the photographer.  She was double checking on the date of service because the wedding planner was making her vendor phone calls to update them on the schedule for the day.  Our photographer mistakenly thought the date on our contracts read April 15th instead of the fifth.  I seriously thought she was being a jokester.  She couldn't possibly be serious.  She assured me she would be there but not before my feathers were ruffled and nerves unraveled.  Melanie would find out about this tomorrow after all pictures were taken.  I carried on, calm as a cucumber.

With a five o'clock wedding, 10:30 am began the schedule of hair and make up.  Plenty of time was allotted for beautification and pampering for 13 plus clients.  The salon was bustling with hairstylists and makeup artists.  False eyelashes were flying.  The scene was a happy one with mimosas and a catered lunch.

I couldn't believe how quickly the time went by.  I was still waiting to get  hair and makeup application an hour before our 2:00 departure time.  Thankfully almost everyone was finished and Melanie was glowing.  Her beauty and happiness lit up the salon.

As my stylist finished my hair, she gave me a mirror to approve her couture creation.  When I looked into the mirror, I almost choked.  Who was this person looking back at me?  My head looked like a perfectly teased square box with bangs.  Spongebob was not the look I was going for.  With no time to spare, I jumped out of my seat and asked the stylist for the brush and the blowdryer.  I proceeded to find the nearest electrical outlet.  Grandma graciously held a mirror in front of her face so I could see what I was doing.  No time for panic, just action.  The stunned stylist stood there bewildered by my wild undoing of her creation.  I had no time for explanations. I could feel my ears turning beet red.  With all the things that had gone on, I was a bit unprepared for the panic of a hairdo gone very wrong.  Luckily, one of the master stylists took quick control of my head, and calm returned.

We were off to the hotel with everyone ready and primped to perfection, only we were an hour off schedule.  When we got  to the hotel to dress and take pictures, it was going to have to be fast and furious in order to stay on time for the 5:00 start.  We were focused and I was internally assured we were almost successfully ready for "go time." The wedding would not start without the bride.

We entered the bridal suite to find everything in place, including a reality show team of photographers.  Everyone was scurrying about looking for their dresses. Melanie waited patiently for me to finish dressing so we could pose for some cherished mother/daughter "getting ready" pictures.  Maeve, our youngest -2 year old, was passed out in the bed in comatose fashion, after several busy days without a nap.  She was lying shoeless in her flower-girl dress, fur coat and all.

I quickly realized a major malfunction when I couldn't locate the red paisley bag with my undergarments, shoes and emergency items  I had specifically packed for both Riley, the maid of honor, and I.  It was no where to be found.  Surely, after all the careful instructions about which bag went where, it would turn up.  I had even put it in the car myself.  Immediately, Melanie's bridesmaid's and her Aunt Molly sprang into action.  A fleet of beautifully dressed women scampered the floors of the hotel, collecting anything and everything we were missing.

Then, in the whirl of scavenger hunting, someone announced that we were missing a bridesmaid dress.  It was Riley's, the maid of honor.   I was starting to feel the choking airwaves in my throat.  Panic was at my door, but I refused to open it.  Steve's blood pressure was rising and it looked like he just swam 100 laps in the hotel pool.  He was dripping with sweat.  I knew things could start plummeting quickly as we have all been around dad when the he is sweating bullets.  Things could get dicey.

In a rush, he flew out the door, ready to make the drive back to the house to get the dress.  I followed him quickly to help him regain composure and Melanie pleaded, "Dad, don't leave!"  I looked him in the eyes and told him to breath... which he did very, very well.  We flew into the bathroom so he could soak up the dripping sweat and catch a breath.  His bow tie still needed tying.  He asked me to do it, which I was more than happy to do, only I had no idea how.  With miraculous teamwork, we tied it successfully in seconds.  He left the bathroom to take some shots with Melanie, as I coped with a very distraught maid of honor.  She had already started to bawl off  her beautiful applied makeup.

I stood in front of her, and looked her right in the eye, and gave her permission to cry... and cry hard. She only had five minutes to do her crying.  As I left her to release her stress, I had to come up with a plan B that did not involve anyone driving anywhere.  There simply was no time for that.

As I left the bathroom, my brain was on hyperdrive.  Unfortunately, it was devoid of any ideas.  I didn't have a sewing machine handy or I would have sewn something out of the drapes.  Suddenly, I remembered Melanies bridesmaid, Andrea, who flew in from France.  She was the only one with her luggage in the room.  The dress she wore to the rehearsal dinner struck me as our only way out.  It was a beautiful black off the shoulder, short dress with a ruffle across the top.  It would fit perfectly with the other dresses.  Indeed, Mother Mary came to my aid.  Our only obstacle would be if it was the right
size.  It was close and I was determined to make this dress fit one way or the other.  I didn't want to go to Plan C, which would have required another bridesmaid to offer up their own dress so Melanie could have her maid of honor clothed and respectable.

I entered the bathroom feeling triumphant, but Riley was still visibly a wreck.  She was not happy and I didn't blame her a bit.  Yet at that moment, I told her that this would be a life changing experience.  The whole fiasco was out of our hands.  We only had one thing we could control and that was our frame of mind.  Her attitude and ability to keep her eye on the ball would be something she would always remember.  Getting Melanie to the church, with everyone in a joyful spirit to celebrate with her, was paramount to a successful day.  She had the ability to choose which way she would handle the situation. I didn't dare impose which way she should go.  It was her choice.  She could dry her eyes, and put on the dress that wasn't in the plan, and smile her way through or she could remain upset for herself and ruin a beautiful atmosphere of love and unity.  I let her make the choice.

As usual, she stepped up to the plate.  Her maturity was a feat beyond my hopes for the moment.  She dried her tears and went with the program as if nothing happened.  She looked beautiful and her goodness beamed for all to see.  The pride I feel for my children is something I can not adequately explain when they do good things.  But when they turn a nightmare into a dream is when my heart swells the greatest.  I know they are soaking up the ability to conquer tough challenges in life through attitude and focus.  They are honing their skills at "keeping their eye on the ball" so that they hit a homerun when many others strike out under pressure.  This ability separates the minor leaguers from the majors in life.

We arrived to the church very late, but all were clothed looking beautiful and happy.  Maeves white shoes never showed up and she march down the isle with her everyday sandals, a fur coat and a basket of lifesavers.  Her hair was beautifully matted and uncombed from her slumber.  We stayed focused on getting to the church to start the ceremony as fast, calm and happily as we all could possibly be.  I don't think anyone was the wiser, except for those who witnessed and participated in the harried scene 30 minutes prior to arrival.

From then on, the wedding ceremony fulfilled all of our hopes for a beautiful, sacramental beginning to Melanies new life with her handsome, loving husband, Jeff.  God and his grace poured out upon our families as we kept our eyes on the ball.  We hit it out of the park with a grand slam!

Thank you all for the beautiful gift you gave me- on the first of many weddings for this family. The love I feel is overwhelming.
We make a wonderful team!

Love
MOM